Setting personal boundaries is not always easy for me. I’m more aware of its challenges when it comes to saying, “No.”
Most times, I fully recognize that point at which a limit ought to be set…yet I disregard it in a passive way. Time and time again, I live to regret it. I find myself thinking, that I should have said, “No”…or wishing that I would have taken a firmer stand in some matter.
I’m not alone. I know many others who run into the same predicament. I bet you’ve found yourself in the same difficulty at least a few times.
What about you? If you have trouble taking up for yourself and saying “no” when you know that you should, you may need to think about setting personal boundaries... and putting up some “stop signs.” Learning to do that will help protect you from those who might take advantage of you. It can also save you from falling into unfavorable situations.
Setting personal boundaries is a critical technique for enhancing your personal and professional development. By standing up for yourself, you’ll gain self-esteem and freedom from trying to please everyone. You will also gain more self confidence in making decisions in matters that concern you and your life.
You may have some apprehension in the beginning...especially if you’ve been passive in the past. If you’ve been aggressive, you may have controlled your limits with anger and lashing out. Those types of approaches are not a good means to go about it.
Here are some issues you need to manage before beginning to take a stand:
Start making simple direct and firm statements in a non-threatening tone. You may feel a bit uncomfortable for a while. Soon you’ll feel a power that makes you stronger and more adept at drawing lines.
You don’t need to debate the issues of your boundaries or explain yourself to others. Be firm and consistent in repeating your requests or statements and reinforce your actions by staying determined.
Also make some firm self-esteem affirmations to overcome putting yourself into detrimental situations. Setting personal boundaries also includes saying “No” to yourself when appropriate. For example, “I will say ‘No’ when faced with…” Fill in the blanks and remain true to your values!Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin - How to Recognize and Set Healthy Boundaries